Honeymoon 06

Acknowledgment:
I would like to thank "gmbygrl" for the assistance with the translation to English.

It was already evening and Dean sat on the porch outside. He stared at the stars and in his lap had the kitten, which purred and belonged to the hotel owner. The kitten named Jimmy with blue eyes, all black except paws and belly, which was pure white. Dean usually don't like him cats, because he has an allergy to their fur, but this one reminded him a little Cas. Dean licked 80% Stroh. He licked, because such a thing cannot drink without it was mixed up with something, like tea. However, Dean wanted to get drunk so quick.

"Where's your husband?" said Frau Gabriele, who suddenly appeared next to him sucking a lollipop.

"He is at upstairs, he work at ... on the computer. This is a disadvantage if you're an IT expert. You have a lot of money, so ... who can afford such a holiday like this, but you cannot enjoy it," muttered Dean and his German language was even worse than usual. However Frau Gabriele had an incredible experience with mumbling drunk strangers, so she understood.

"Holiday? I thought, that you have honeymoon," She paused above the Dean's formulations. Certainly her drunken guest, he just didn't have to remember the correct word, and he could use others with similar meaning. But if those guys were really newlyweds, it's hard to imagine that, they would let spoil their time with something like work.

"Well, he is-NOT... fucking my husband... or lover..." Dean explained with a slight pause. Hard to say if it was because he struggled with words, or wondering, what he would say next. "Castiel is... it's just me-my friend. I should go here with a woman. Lisa. But she told me NO before the al-altar and then she run away."

"I am so sorry," the landlady sympathized with him.

"I liked Austria, I've always... I've wanted to see it. But I don't have much money. Less than my brother and Cas, I don't want to cancel it here. I think that if there will be Cas, I avoid solitude and re-thinking about Lisa," Dean said.

Gabriele nodded knowingly and threw the stick of the lollipop into the ashtray, which was right next to her. "But even though your friend is here, you still think of her."

"Yeah. What was it, what could be, and what it's like with Castiel... It..." Dean paused again, this time definitely to take the time to think, what he wants to say, and absently stroked Jimmy's head. The kitten leaned back in to the touch and then rolled onto his back and fixed his blue eyes on two people with an order: "I'm cute! Rub me on tummy!" "In all the fucking time, I could not think of anything else. Lisa would not go with me to the middle of things, what we do here with Castiel. I like it here and I would like to come here again next year."

"And what is the problem?"Gabriele asked with joy that she could have permanent customers. Again Dean drank from the bottle, which had Stroh, this time more than ever, because he needed courage.

"Because be with Cas, feels so right. Better than I ever was with Lisa ... I Think I'm alone. Today was tired and Castiel stayed here and I saw the Dachstein. Before I returning to Cas I went to the bar. I wa-wanted to find a girl and shalt have sex with her. But I couldn't do it."

"Then perhaps it is right, that Lisa said NO," Gabriele remarked, and pulled out of his pocket a small bag of mint candy. She tore open the bag and one of them shoved into her mouth, then offered one to Dean, who refused the simple gesture. Frau Gabriela, for a thin woman, she obviously liked the sweets. "The spark of love is the idea that the other might be something more, and finding that this idea is very nice... And the interesting thing is that it doesn't matter, how long you know this person."

"You wanted to say... that... I-I fell in love with... with C-Cas?!" Dean grumbled grumpily, already he was pretty irritated, as everyone thinks, that he is gay.

"No, only that, I believe that everything happens for a reason," landlady smiled. "And what about you, Dean Winchester? Do you share this faith with me?" Frau Gabriele let her question hang in the air and disappeared as quickly as she had appeared.

The spark of love is the idea that the other might be something more, and finding that this idea is very nice... And the interesting thing is that it doesn't matter, how long you know this person… I believe that everything happens for a reason… And what about you, Dean Winchester? Do you share this faith with me? TheWords of the landlady Dean replayed again and again in his drunken head, in which already he was totally confused. He was almost ready to admit that he might be in love with his best friend, but he wasn't naive. He knew that it was no solution, but only more complications. He knew that it was no solution, but only other complications. Because what about damn Castiel?

As long as Dean remembered, he never had any a romantic relationship. Although Castiel has never denied that he might want someone, and Dean often joking about that he find someone for him. There was the fact that Cas accepted his invitation here to Austria, but inside his soul Dean quite doubted that his friend actually wants somebody. Increasingly when Dean thought about it, it seemed that he was friends with the unicorn, and even if it weren't so, probably it was so difficult expect, that Cas wanted the older Winchester. Perhaps it would be fair if he told him it, but Dean could vividly imagine, that this action could excite his asexual friend and then he would pack his bags, like everyone else in Dean's life. No, he couldn't risk it. He can't lose him. Cas, Cas was ... He'd rather drink himself to death, to dispel this shit, than to lose everything.

Dean took gulp from the bottle with Stroh, but this time as if it was pure water. Such a quantity could damage a few brain cells. That would be fine, at least for a moment he could forgot all of that... Or better yet, he could poison himself ... end up in intensive care ... far from Lisa, far from Castiel. This idea was suddenly very, very intriguing... he thought selfishly.

The rest of the evening he didn't remember. And that was damn lucky...

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